Uncle Tweed has always, since it’s humble beginnings felt a certain fondness for the Beauty Pageant, which coincidentally was developed by the same crafty Greeks that brought us that other acclaimed competition, the Olympic Games:

“Helen was the daughter of the Greek god Zeus and Leda, who was the wife of Tyndareus. Zeus approached Leda in the form of a swan. Helen was born from this union and she was the sister of the Dioscuri, the twins Castor and Pollux, who were renowned for their bravery and skills at fighting. Helen was renowned as the most beautiful woman in the world. Theseus, who had killed the Minotaur, carried her off as a child but the Dioscuri rescued her. All of the kings of Greece wanted to marry her because of her beauty and courted her. To save conflict between them Odysseus suggested that they let Helen choose and then all agree to protect her husband. She chose Menelaus but was later kidnapped by Paris, the son of Priam and Hecuba of Troy. At Zeus’ command Paris had been the judge at a beauty contest and had to choose which of the goddesses Hera, Athene, or Aphrodite was the fairest. He chose Aphrodite who had promised him the most beautiful woman in the world for his wife. He carried Helen off which did not please Menelaus and so the Greeks set sail to Troy. The Trojan war lasted ten years.”

However, recent years steady decline in age of the participating ladies has done nothing for the reputation of the pursuit. As Uncle Tweed is sure you all agree, children should be heard but not seen, which is why they are best on radio.

Uncle Tweed was, in the context outlined above, thrilled to find out that somewhere in the world, the mature candidate is given a chance to participate in the noble pursuit:

Ladies and Genlemen, welcome to the Mrs Ohio Beauty Pageant!

“No talent competition, no swimwear and no experience is necessary. If you are ready to celebrate marriage & achievements, then continue reading …

The 2000 Mrs. Ohio(TM) International Winner received:

Uncle Tweed is , like anyone in his shoes would, cursing the day he was born a man outside state of Ohio.