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E. P.

This week, Uncle Tweed has dived deep into the seedy world of the Elvis Impersonator. Wearing the sequinned jumpsuit seems to make some people prone to Capitalise Every First Letter Syndrome:

“This Is A Ring Devoted To Elvis Impersonators Or Elvis Tribute Artists Like Myself “The Kings Image” & Sites Containing Merchandise For Us (Such As Jumpsuit Makers Etc.) This Will Help Promote All Of Us. It Will Also Help Any Interested Persons Find An Elvis Impersonator Or Elvis Tribute Artist That Best Suits Their Needs In Their Area Etc. I Take This Form Of Entertainment Seriously, Any Sites Refering To Elvis Impersonators, Tribute Artists In Bad Taste Will NOT Be Added To The Ring.”

This particular impersonator didn’t fail the “Tribute Artists In Bad Taste” test, and was succesfully added to the ring:

“I am 50 years old, married and a national account executive for a large corporation. I live in Cincinnati, Ohio and I am a Sunday School teacher and Deacon at a local church. I impersonate a older Elvis Presley to bring some enjoyment and happiness to various groups of people. I pantomime some of Elvis’s traditional songs, but also perform many of Elvis’s gospel songs trying to be a witness for our Lord…”

Uncle Tweed can’t be sure whether Barry would qualify. The banjo playing cartoon frog adorning Barrys home page leads Uncle Tweed to believe that Elvis mightn’t be the only voice in Barry’s head.

Barry says:

“Welcome to my Home and Music, I love to do ELVIS and other voices… My friendsand I, enjoy all kinds of Music and graphics”

The “Tribute Artists In Bad Taste” award must go to the anonymous San Fransisco based impersonator described by this eyewitness:

“The song started benignly enough. Just an apparently drunk, sort of tragic Elvis act. But as he went on, he started stripping. He lost his jacket and shirt, which didn’t really phase anyone. Then he let his pants start sliding to the floor. Then, “Elvis” was singing stark naked in front of the entire bar. At this point, he pulled out a glass, pissed in it, and took a swig from it.”

Further afield, the Elvises are starting to appear even stranger, as the quote from a Japanese Tribute Artists site should prove:

”? CAN’T DECIDE ON WHAT TO DO FOR YOUR PARTY? WHY NOT HAVE THE KING OF ROCK’N ROLL ENTERTAIN YOUR GUESTS!!!! ? FOR PARTIES AND SPECIAL EVENTS!!!!!! ????? YOU MIGHT HAVE SEEN ELVIS ON TV BEFORE BUT YOU HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED THE DYNAMIC POWER OF THE KING. JAMES REINACTS ELVIS IN THE 70’S WITH HIS JUMPSUITS AND WITH HIS ELECTRIFYING PERFORMANCES!!!! AN ENTERTAINING SHOW THAT WILL SATISFY YOU AND YOUR GUESTS!!!!!”

Finally, Uncle Tweeds heart goes out to Swedish pulp factory worker Eilert Pilarm who does not just impersonate “The King” but actually thinks he is Elvis, because his initials are E. P. A favourable review informs us:

“Are You Lonesome Tonight? Blue Suede Shoes, Don’t Be Cruel and Hound Dog was among the songs he sung, now for those of you who have not heard him I can tell you that he doesnt know how to speak english, he just tries to sing the same tones as his beloved Elvis sings them”

Ladies and Gentlemen, Uncle Tweed has just left the building.