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What is my name?

Dear Mountie

What is my name,

???

Dear ???

Although, or maybe just because of the fact that the Mountie is renowned throughout the lands for his wisdom, he does not possess the psychic powers usually associated with Bingo-hall clarvoyants and carnival conjurers.

The knowledge which the Mountie has acquired over the years, although occasionally trivial in nature, rarely reaches the pettifogging little details embodied in your question.

Is it Rumpelstiltskin?

Yours Truly

Mr Mountie

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