Ask the Mountie
Should I Tell Her Or Just Lez Be Friends?
OH WISE AND WITTY MOUNTIE,
IM 51 YEARS OLD DIVORCED SINGLE WOMAN AND FOUND FOR THE FIRST TIME A BUDDING DEEPENING LOVE FOR ANOTHER WOMAN ALSO OF MY AGE WHOS ALSO DIVORCED SINGLE AND A FWB.
OH THE WOE OF BEING A CHRONE AND YET THE WISDOM OF KNOWING THE SECOND FIRST TIME AROUND IT IS TRUE LOVE.
SHOULD I TELL HER OR JUST LEZ BE FRIENDS.,
PENNYROYALE
Dear PennyRoyale
When you say FWB, do you mean Front Wheel Break or Fort Walton Beach? I feel the answer to your question depends wholly on wether you’re referring to an automobile component or a city on the Emerald Coast of northwest Florida.
Since it has taken me over 14 months to answer your question (I have been otherwise engaged, for which I apologise) I will waste no more of your time and provide an answer for each particular scenario;
a) When you’re referring to your budding love as a “Front Wheel Break” you are betraying a fear of a most primeval archetype - Newton’s first law tells you that an object wants to keep going in a straight line until acted on by an external force. Improperly modulating the force applied on a Front Wheel Brake has the effect of bringing your “velocipede” to a sudden and impromptu stop, shifting you, the rider to the front with a momentum that will aviate you past the handlebars, making you crash to the ground with some force.
On the other hand,
b) Likening your beau to a north-western city of Florida, favoured by retirees in loud acrylic shirts set on spending their remaining days in a humid climate, only ever disturbed by the odd hurricane warning on the local cable channel, evidences a fear that what you might have going at the moment will be either too mild-mannered, or, according to some theorists, not mild-mannered enough.
Regardless, I suggest checking the all-caps key on your computer. It seems to be a bit stuck.
Yours Truly
Mr Mountie
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