Ask the Mountie

How did I get to be left-handed

Dear Mountie

I’m left-handed. How did I get this way: nature or nurture? Or is my oddity due to some other, more sinister, reason? A conspiracy perhaps?

imp

Dear imp

I suspect a conspiracy; remember - it is no coincidence that the word Sinister has two meanings: “Impending or threatening evil”, or “left”.

In an effort to stave the evil left-handed enclave from taking over the world the right-handers have used various techniques throughout the centuries, from the banal name-calling - Synonyms for left-handedness include bumbling , ham-fisted , ham-handed , handless and kak-handed - to burning at the stake or Electroconvulsive therapy.

The dawn of the new millennium is upon us - the sinister left-handed are on the rise, you should count yourself lucky to be one of the ham-fisted bumblers.

Yours Truly

Mr Mountie

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